15 Stupid Band Names at NXNE

June 21, 2015

in REFLECTIONS AND RANTS

(Originally published on June 3, 2011)

Here comes NXNE, all over Toronto like a rash. June 13-19, we trust, is already in your calendar…

And, herewith, our list of the event’s silliest/daftest band names. Warning: This will be a tradition at both this event and Canadian Music Week. 

In alphabetical order, here are 15 bands — all appearing at NXNE — with names that should be returned to sender for repair/re-tooling.

CUNTER
(All CAPS; aren’t we naughty?)

Eastern Conference Champions
(Not to be confused with a hockey team)

Enjoy Your Pumas
(Right! Will do!)

Fuck Montreal
(How to make friends in Quebec)

Horse Feathers
(Don’t give your critics an easy time)

Makeout Videotape
(Starring Jenna Jameson, Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy)

PKEW PKEW PKEW (gunshots)
(Will work well in after-hours booze cans)

Sandman Viper Command
(Took weeks to come up with this one)

Super Geek League
(Smartphone app inventors in the future)

teen tits wild wives
(Oooh, we’re shocked!)

The Connoisseurs of Porn
(Starring Sasha Grey, Lexi Belle and Faye Reagan)

The Hyena Dog Robbery
(Sorry, Judge, we had to get this animal off the streets)

Today I Caught the Plague
(And next week we’ll expire)

USA Out of Vietnam
(Very up to the minute, this band’s name)

Whiteboy Slim
(Got the blooze, old man?)